Healing ~ Integration
As we take an honest look at how we approach all situations life throws at us we start looking at ourselves and the world in new ways.
We all have our own unique operating system.
What makes us
Our patterns feel normal to us even though we feel something’s not quite right.
A lot are defensive, formed when we were kids and throughout our lives.
Some can be multi-generational.
Doing this work brings us closer to our most authentic self.
We get to where the good stuff is, the richness of life.
Doing this work with an experienced facilitator speeds us along towards our goal.
Some of these patterns make us very wonky. It makes it very hard for us to grow as a person.
This is what you are seeing with people creating negative outcomes and disconnecting from valuing human connection.
Andrew Huberman’s interview of Dr Paul Conti on trauma and growth is very powerful. See 00:21:38 on why we keep repeating patterns and how to get to what’s really going on.
Dr Paul Conti is the author of Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic
“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace
Meditating and learning how to process patterns
are the most important tools we can have
“why meditate?”
“why should anyone try to do something so frustrating?”
The way a culture socializes its children (and we are all products of the process) is by teaching them to rely primarily on judgments from outside themselves. To socialize a child, you need to instill in him only three basic principles: to accept his information from the outside; to look outside for his rewards; and to ignore his inner voice if it conflicts with what comes from outside authority.
That’s the way you train a child to be a member of a society - so that when Mother says, “Do this,” you do it, even if in your heart it doesn’t feel right. If you get good enough at doing that, you become a “success” in the society; if you don’t, you’re an outcast.
When we “Trust our intuition,” when we start to encourage that, we’re reversing the process. As we awaken, we begin to act from the inside out rather than from the outside in....
When we look closely, we see that our egos are just a gestalt, a constellation of thought-forms defining our universe - thoughts that tell us who we are, and who everybody else is, and how it all works. Those patterns go very, very deep and we just can’t will them away.
We look for practices that will give us a foothold outside our thought forms.
Meditation is a good practice for extricating ourselves from our thoughts. It lets us see clearly the way in which we keep re-creating the very network of thought-forms that’s trapping us.
Awareness Meditation
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take a few moments to “simply be”. Notice whatever is being experienced in the moment — sounds, physical sensations, thoughts, feelings — without trying to do anything about it. Continue like this a little while, allowing yourself to settle down.
Now bring the attention to the breath. Simply notice the breath as it moves in and out as the body inhales and exhales. Notice how the breath moves in and out automatically, effortlessly. Don’t try to manipulate it in any way. Notice all the details of the experience of breathing — the feeling of the air moving in and out of the nose, the way the body moves as it breathes, etc.
The mind will wander away from the breath — that’s fine, it doesn’t matter. That’s a part of the meditation. When you notice that you are no longer observing the breath, easily bring your attention back to it.
Let all of your experiences — thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations — come and go in the background of your awareness of the breath. Notice how all of your experiences — thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, awareness of sounds and smells — come automatically and effortlessly like the breath.
In time, you can become aware of the tendencies of your mind. You will see how it resists certain experiences and tries to hold onto others. The natural settling down of the mind allows you to notice these underlying tendencies and creates the possibility to let them go. If you experience a resistance to what is occurring, an attempt to change what is happening, a tendency to hold on to some experience — let it go.
Become aware of the point at which the breath turns the corner from the inhalation to the exhalation, and from the exhalation to the inhalation. Notice what is there. It is not a thing — it is a gap between the breaths, nevertheless there can be awareness of it. It is a kind of “still point”.
Continue to bring your attention to that still point, bringing your attention back to the gaps in the breath whenever it has wandered away. As you continue practicing this meditation, you may find that the stillness is no longer experienced as discrete gaps between the breaths, but is a more continuous experience. This cultivates the awareness of the stillness that is present in the midst of activity, and can create a profound experience of peace.
